I've been sitting here, reorganizing my review page and thinking. I don't think I want another review. I don't know how much I want someone grading my thoughts. I don't know how much I want to be told that I don't write enough and I'm not descriptive enough.

The way I write works for me. It lets me express what I want to say. And I don't really think anyone besides %%diary-chadin%% and my sister read my diary.

So does it really matter if I write the way I do.

And I know that with my disappearing for so long only to come back sparadicolly (sp?), no one will give me very good marks and then I will just feel like crap.

Of course, knowing me, I will decide that I do want to be reviewed. For some reason I will want that self justification that can come with reviews. . . .

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So I cried today at work. My DM was pushing me to tell him what was the problem in our store, why are we not doing as well as we should be, what needs to be changed, who is the problem. . . And I didn't really know what to tell him. So he pushed. Really hard. And I told him some of it.

I couldn't bring myself to say that we just weren't doing what we were supposed to because we didn't like the system. Mainly out of fear of losing my job. I have heard him say that he believes in it and it will work if we just apply it. And you never tell a gay man that you think his ideas are full of crap. At least not a gay man who is known for getting rid of (be it fire or make you want to leave) people who don't see his way. (And I have seen it happen to some very competent people.)

So I put the blame sort of on someone who is causing some problems at the store. She makes it clear that she doesn't agree with the ideas and she doesn't come across as very professional. (Cause screaming "It's melting!" as she is walking in and I am helping someone is so professional.)

And I really don't feel that bad about it.

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I've been told that I'm not as bitchy as I think I can come across as. Which is very good. And they know that I don't mean to sound that way. So no one gets hurt and no one complains. Things are moving smoothly. Maybe it will continue that way.

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I really need more people to review. I keep putting off this review I have to do, because I know that once I have done it there wont be anyone left to review.

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I'm listening to:
I'm reading this:
I'm burning this:

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